For Future Reference

This post isn't really for any other purpose except for me to capture these thoughts and notes for when we get ready to have children. This sermon series on family has been really good, and our pastor does not tip-toe around the issues. While he is not tacky or offensive, he is very direct about what parents today should do and not do with their children.

From Bro. Greg's blog:

10 Things Every Pastor Wants Parents To Know
(but is afraid to say)

#1 You are responsible for spiritual training
Ephesians 6:1-4
Deuteronomy 11
Psalms 78

• The purpose of parenting is to train my child to know and love the Lord Jesus in such a way that he or she walks with Jesus as an adult.

#2 You must train your children to understand and handle finances.
Proverbs 4

#3 You are too busy doing and not BEING a family.
Time is essential.
Love develops during “being” – not doing.

#4 You must teach personal discipline habits to help children develop a character of discipline.

1 Timothy 4:6-11
2 Timothy 2:3-6

Regular chores – trash, washing dishes, mopping, etc.
Schedule – bed times, clean room, disciplined approach to homework, etc.
Life skills – cooking, cleaning, waxing the car, etc

#5 Understand the difference between behavior and character, so you can teach character.
Matthew 12:33-37
Hebrews 12:1-2

#6 Have many more meaningful conversations about life.

#7 Teach them how to date!

• It is sin to marry a person who does not follow Christ (2 Cor. 6:11-18)
  
• Properly handle your emotions (Proverbs 4:23)
  
• Girls: proper dress (Prov 11:22); you must not settle for anything less than a prince (1 Peter 3:7)
  
• Boys: stay away from the girl in Prov. 7: no divas, drama queens, or Barbie dolls! Look for the correct heart (1 Pet 3:1-6); sweet, not manipulative,sense of joy

#8 Parents need to study much, much more about Biblical parenting.
2 Timothy 3:15-16

#9 Lazy, Sunday-morning-only, uncommitted Christianity is killing your children.
Luke 9:23-26
Deuteronomy 11
Psalm 78:1-11

#10 Pour into your children’s hearts “God has a plan for your life designed out of His love for you and made you special so you could live out that wonderful plan.”
Ephesians 2:8-10
Psalms 139:13-14

4 Principles for How to Train Your Children

Thank you congregation for a wonderful service today. FBC is a wonderful place to preach and you are a wonderful congregation. You give us the freedom to preach the Bible. Even when we are louder than eloquent, you have the ability to listen and glean the real message from the scripture. Thank you for the privilege of being your pastor.

I explained in the sermon today that I would break out the 4 principles on this blog for you so you would not have to try to write everything. Here are the 4 principles: We must teach our children "committedly, consistently, creatively, and comprehensively."

Here is "Comprehensively." Deuteronomy 11 describes the command to obey numerous times, and often states specifically "all my commands" and "every command." God then tells Israel to teach these statutes and laws to their children. Without question it must clearly mean all of them. In other words, we are to teach our children all about living in a comprehensive manner.

Here is a list of the areas that I believe the Bible teaches us that should be the focus of our training:
* spiritual knowledge/spiritual disciplines - specifically that means the Gospel, the 10 commandments, scripture reading, spiritual discipline

* obedience - Again(from the first week's message), children learn spiritual truth from learning to obey. They learn selfishness and sin/ repentance; that God honors obedience with love, provision, and protection; and then learn to trust God as they see His character of love through this process.

* personal discipline - This necessary in every aspect of life. I comes from things such as cleaning your room, taking care of things, scheduling, etc.

* decisions have consequences - See Galatians 6 - "Whatever a man shows, that shall he also reap."

* The balance of Fun/Responsibility

* To learn to love to read and learn

* Servant hearted, loving relationships - Remember the Family Question: In light of, (1) what Jesus did for me(Hebrews 12:1-5); (2) what this particular family member needs; and (3) what would point that family member to Jesus; what is the most loving decision I could make? [See Philippians 2:3-5]

Obviously, there are too many things to teach our children to include in one list. These are intended to be point out the basic categories that are essential. Most of the others things either fall into one of these categories or flow out of the character traits listed in one of these major areas.

Review the list. Discuss it with any other parent in the picture. If you are a single parent, then discuss it with your close friends, Sunday School leader, or one of your pastors. This will help you evaluate and brainstorm.

These are not further obligations. Most of the things you do on a regular basis could easily fall into one of these categories. Everyday things can easily be used to accomplish excellent training in these areas with some - creativity.

Biblical Principles for Disciplining Your Child - Hebrews 12:4-11

Principle 1
Discipline is a natural and necessary part of spiritual growth

Principle 2
Discipline as a part of training your child and spiritual discipline are direct parallels

Principle 3
Discipline is a positive growth process

The Family Question
In light of

• what Jesus did for me (Heb 12:3-4)
• what this family needs, and
• what would point them to Jesus

What is the most loving choice I can make right now?

Biblical Principles for Discipline
• loving/relational
• purposeful
• balanced with encouragement
• redemptive
• timely
• consistent